


This Is What I Need

by orphan_account



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Raylicity, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-14
Updated: 2014-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-25 09:01:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2616080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt: "Just let me be selfish for once."<br/>Digg and Felicity talk about her relationship with Ray and about Oliver.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is What I Need

"Felicity, I’m honestly happy for you and Ray and how good you’re doing at your job."

Digg’s words settled over the room, him sitting at her counter while she leaned on the other side in her kitchen. She cocked her head at him, trying to accept his words but she could tell he wasn’t done. She knew Digg. He had more to say.

"Why do I feel like there’s a "but" coming at the end of that?" Felicity asked, sighing when Digg smiled in agreement.

"John, I don’t want to hear—" She started, loading coffee into her pot as Digg interrupted.

"Just hear me out," He said diplomatically, "This needs to be said."

Felicity turned, leaning back on the counter next to the coffee pot and crossing her arms, nodding at him reluctantly to continue.

"I know I’ve mostly stayed out what’s going on between you and Oliver," 

"As you should," Felicity said, before Digg gave her an exasperated look.

"Sorry," Felicity said, and Digg continued.

"But not this time," Digg said, "As stubborn as Oliver is—he needs you, Felicity. Maybe as a friend, maybe more. But you with Palmer," Digg sighed shaking his head, "It’s just too much. I know Oliver would never admit it, and I know you’re not meaning too—but Felicity, it’s too much for Oliver."

Felicity felt tears threaten her eyes as Digg’s words hit her like blows, and she crossed her arms harder, hugging herself.

"Ray took his company—he didn’t mean it in a bad way, but nevertheless, it’s his. Then you start to work for that old company. Then you start to date Ray," Digg pointed out, "And slowly, everything Oliver had once been so sure of was pulled out from under his feet."

Felicity felt an overwhelmed heat flood her neck and cheeks, and she bit the inside of her cheek, shaking her head at Digg’s soft words.

"Just remember that," Digg said kindly, "Alright?"

He came around the counter, kissing her lightly on the top of the head, before heading towards the door.

Felicity let the heat on her skin fill her veins, before it erupted from her without her control.

"No," She snapped, and Digg turned around in surprise, as Felicity seethed, "Oliver pushed me away. He told me he couldn’t—no, wouldn’t love me. Told me that he wouldn’t not love me. Then told me we couldn’t have a life together. That all we could have was something cold and ruthless—with no hope of a happy ending," Felicity’s anger turned into sobs.

"He gave me everything and left me broken. So excuse me for trying to move on—trying to have something more than that. I want more than a widowed life. I. Want. To. Be. Happy." Felicity spit out the words. She allowed, for the first time, her anger and despair engulf her. She let herself finally grieve over what she had lost—the life that had been flashed before her and taken away just as quickly.

“Just let me be selfish for once,” Felicity cried as Digg engulfed her in his arms. Digg stroked her hair reassuringly as she cried into his chest, calming her a bit before he spoke.

"You deserve whatever you want, Felicity," Digg said , but waited until she met his eyes before continuing.

"But is this really what will make you happiest?" Digg asked, and Felicity let his words sink in. She thought of the utter elation she felt in just those few short months of bliss with Oliver before everything blew up. It was burned in her memory— brighter than even her moments with Ray. But she had had happy moments with Ray as well. Not magnificent moments, but good nonetheless. She could live a good life with Ray—she would live a good life with Ray.

Because every moment with Oliver was pure passion, in both the best and the worst ways. While happy was translated into elation, sadness was despair and grief was soul-wretching. While the good was magnificent, the bad left her broken. And Felicity wasn’t sure how much more breaking she could take.

"No," Felicity answered Digg as honestly as she could, meeting his eyes, "This might not be what would make me the happiest."

Felicity thought of the way her heart felt ripped from her chest when she had walked away from Oliver. Thought of how she would feel if she lost him. She couldn’t love him—it hurt too much.

"But this is what I need."


End file.
